This Sunday Pastor did a sermon on this subject, "Body, Soul, and Spirit". I am seeing from this that Schizophrenia affects the body. When I first heard voices they were saying mind, body, and soul but I never thought deeper than this. I mean yes I have a mind and a body and a soul but what was missing was the Spirit. I am still understanding the Spirit but it's definition is what the psychological community affects when they try to "cure" you. Like I said I was told I had an evil Spirit in me, that God could not help me, that this was caused by "sin" in the world or in me I don't remember.
What I am finding from the definition of Spirit (meaning, purpose, love) I SEE that all these things were messed with. Who I was, was messed with. It is my fault because I did not and really could not speak up too loudly. I know that my Spirit was full of the love of God and that was unshakable and I could not move on without knowing God. I have to know God and I MUST have his WORD in my life.
I am imperfect, yes... HELL yes. But no one's Spirit should be messed with in the pursuit of healing. If I could I would stop taking my medication today but there is no where for me to go where this is a safe option. My mother calls 911 on me from her home down the street from me and hasn't even talked to me about why she did this and then my husband does the same thing and then there is no explanation as to what I can do to prevent you from calling the cops behind my back. Anywhoo, no one cares. There is no one to go to for some real, educated talk on my issues.
Knowing though that I was fighting against losing my Spirit makes me feel really proud that I made it this far and I still don't hate and I still want to love. I think I'm special, anyway.
I will write more when I really know the Spirit and what that is. Just have some questions I need answering before I can go any deeper.
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The Spirit is always the spirit of God. The Holy Spirit is God too, it's just part of God. The Spirit is perfect (purpose, meaning, love). Because the spirit is perfect I will skip it and go back to the soul.
Soul - personality, conscious mind, sub conscious mind, will (choices). The one thing I do need to work on are my choices but to be honest my everything else is normal in my soul. I have encountered my issues and I have healed from them. It is other's issues that concern me.
One, I have been to several churches and I did not get healing and the information I needed. I know God has a plan for me but I want to end this life knowing that the doors of the church are open to anyone AND the information needed is there too. The first church I went to let me walk away crying. I did not get a hug or anything. The next church I went to was fine, I guess, but the person I went with had bad experiences, the next church I went to with "friends" who used God and His word against me to make me feel bad for who I was and thus I left there crying with no hug or love from the parishioners. So, some okay, some devastated me... like having a demon spirit prayed out of me. And then for those "churches" that are still in my life there is no revelation. There is no hmmm, I was wrong or I found out something new. Now I am with a church that does ALL the right things. Is teaching me what I need to know but they do not know what I have been through ... and they won't unless they were me.. stuck.
Two, I want to know what happened with some my friendships. I know it's my fault but what is it that I did that I need to change in MY person that will change my perception of things is what I need to know.
Three, just a healing in the Psychological community that would allow God to be taught to those suffering from mental illness. That this is the first lesson when you are being attacked at the soul. God and His Word is the only healer. I want people to know this.
