Schizophrenia: An Insiders View

Written:  1/31/2009

Schizophrenia and its effects on the life of those afflicted with it is a major problem in today’s society. The medical profession is afraid of it, the family is afraid of it, the friends are afraid of it and the person afflicted with it is alone. What is schizophrenia? Schizophrenia according to Wikipedia “is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a mental illness characterized by impairments in the perception or expression of reality, most commonly manifesting as auditory hallucinations, paranoid or bizarre delusions or disorganized speech and thinking in the context of significant social or occupational dysfunction. Onset of symptoms typically occurs in young adulthood,[1] with approximately 0.4–0.6%[2][3] of the population affected. Diagnosis is based on the patient's self-reported experiences and observed behavior. No laboratory test for schizophrenia exists.” The fact the no laboratory test exist for schizophrenia is of no help to those afflicted. Your just given the term schizophrenia and no one explains anything else. The psychiatric society doesn’t ask the person afflicted questions, doesn’t try to figure out if its something more or less than schizophrenia. You are diagnosed and told to take a pill with nothing else to hold on to.

What would help those afflicted is having at least a questionaire that one would need to answer or just ask questions for the hell of it even if the answer would remain the same. Could you imagine going to the doctor and him telling you you had cancer just by seing you and telling you this ailment can be treated with a pill. Were not going to tell you what the pill does for you or how it may affect your life. You just need to take this pill. Would yo do it? Would you trust it? Would you take this pill for the rest of your life given this.

I have been diagnosed with schizo-associative disorder and I take Risperdal. If you look it up at www.risperdal.com you will see that there is no mention of my specific disorder. I have asked my Doctor about this but have gotten no answers. Just take the pill is the basic response. And talking to my friends is of no help either. They say take the pill. They won’t even listen to my argument. Which only makes the real effects of my disease worse. So I am stuck with leaving them out of my life. Because the unkown is a hard thing to deal with. Not knowing what people are thinking is hard. Not being able to ask people questions. All of this would make a “normal” person crazy. If you asked your spouse a question and received no answer no matter how you changed the question would that not make you upset.

I am afraid for those with a worse affliction than mine. I was told during my psychological visits that there are different levels of Schizophrenia. I don’t know which level I am in but if its worse than what I have which means to me that the auditory hallucinations are worse or you are more paranoid or your thinking is confused you need someone to ask questions. You need your family to be a source of support. You need friends who will still laugh and tell you whats going on with there life even if you can’t actively participate at the time.

My psychiatrist told me that in some societies people believe that Schizophrenia is a spirit. I had a psychologist tell me that its possible that I have an evil spirit in me. And this is during the height of dealing my condition (hearing voices, being confused). There is no God in the psychiatric profession. They do not care about your heart or your soul. I don’t know what they care about to be honest. But unfortunately I did not find help anywhere. I’m sure I didn’t ask everywhere actually I know I didn’t because there is a stigma attached to schizophrenia. I don’t what that stigma is.

Oh, let me tell you this. How I found out I had schizophrenia was I was given a pill. I moved to a new city and started hearing voice and reacting to the voices. I guess the Doctor saw something in me tha resembled schtizophrenia and gave me this pill. At the time I did not ask question. I just wanted help so bad I took the pill. When I got home though I looked it up saw what it was for (schizophrenia) and I looked that up. I wasn’t upset at the time because it said that Ghandi had schizophrenia (don’t know the site) But I figured if Ghandi had schizophrenia than it couldn’t be so bad. I was given a month off of work to recouperate and really did not think about the term schizophrenia. But of course I was and when I went back to work and told my boss with a big smile on my face that I had schizophrenia she just looked at me. Probably because of my stupidity of not really knowing what that means. To this day given the definition I still ask what this is. Why do I hear voices, why am I confused is the question I would like someone to answer using their voice. I have been given the definition on a printout from my doctor but no one will sit down and explain it and make me feel better. Let me know what my life will be like for the rest of my life with this condition. I mean I can look it up but you need someone to be an open door to talk to you.